Here are twenty-two of the funniest questions people ask according to the American Society of Travel Agents:
1. Can I fish off of the cruise ship?
2. Do they speak English in Britain?
3. Can I bring a 12 pack of Tab on the plane? (Agent responds: First of all, where did you find Tab? And no, you can’t bring it on the plane).
4. Are there toll roads on the way to Hawaii?
5. Can you make sure I don’t get a window seat on the plane because I just had my hair done?
6. Can you set it up so that the whales jump in the background at the same time I’m proposing to my girlfriend?
7. I was looking online at the picture of our room. I hate the curtains. I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep in that room with those curtains. Can you cancel the whole trip?
8. Don’t tell my fiancé this is where I took my first wife for our honeymoon.
9. I’d love a train trip to Africa . . .No, I mean I want a train trip from New York to Cape Town.
10. Guest in the aft of the ship asks, Which elevator takes you to the front of the ship?
11. “I had a grandmother and granddaughter who wanted to visit China,” reports one agent. “When informed them that they needed visas, the grandmother responded, "No we don’t. I went to China with my church group last year and I was able to use my American Express card all over the country."
12. Can you please book the honeymoon suite for us and another couple?
13. I want to take a cruise to Las Vegas.
14. Does the crew actually sleep onboard the cruise ship?
15. Can we drive our rental car in Hawaii out of state? We want to go to Alaska. After all, they are the 49th and 50th states on the map . . . so there must be a bridge, right?
16. I would like to go somewhere where there are not a lot of men.
17. I’d like to get married in the Caribbean on an island where the marriage is not legal in the U.S.
18. Will there be shadows on my face at 4 p.m. when the pictures are taken?
19. Will you watch my pet while I’m away?
20. How can I get to Europe without going by air or sea?
21. I’d like to visit Scotland and Denmark on the same trip. (The agent then tells the client he does not have time in his schedule to travel the distance). But they’re only an inch apart on the map, the client says.
22. Can you ask the airline to block the seat next to me so I can stretch out?